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The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
A ragged individual stranded for several months
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day
noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it
necessary to cancel your e-mail
account."
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed
robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the
tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up
against
a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is
going on accountant number one jams something in
accountant number
two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two
whispers, "What
is this?" to which accountant number one replies,
"it's that $50 I
owe you."Pre-Columbian Star War Stories Emerge From Stones
The carvings show symbols of death and crude representations in line with the Aztecs' bloody rituals.
New Bat Has Odd-Shaped Nose
Is that the head of an owl you see on the nose of this new bat species or an elaborate shield?
Should We Keep Punishing Chris Brown?
Or is the criticism doing more harm than good?
Blood Predicts Everlasting Love?: DNews Nuggets
Larger amounts of a certain hormone in the blood suggest a long-lasting relationship.
Camp Stove Charges Your Phone, Cooks Your Goose
BioLite stoves make cooking on wood clean and safe, while generating electricity.