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1/2 oz grenadine syrup
4 oz half-and-half
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Articles
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Verbs
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The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
A ragged individual stranded for several months
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day
noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it
necessary to cancel your e-mail
account."
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping
and goes to see
his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at
night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the
problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours
trying to find
it."
A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not. Henry Fielding
Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. Thomas Jefferson
All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else. H. L. Mencken