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Jokes about Old

The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. "Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses." "Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"

An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: "This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old". "Where did you get this exact information?" "I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old."

The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked. "If I told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"

Quotes Poor

[Memory is] a man's real possession...In nothing else is he rich, in nothing else is he poor. Alexander Smith

[When asked what was the proper time for supper] If you are a rich man, whenever you please; and if you are a poor man, whenever you can. Diogenes the Cynic

A Childrens Museum, however, is more of a Funatorium. You are encouraged to touch things, which is poor training for subsequent museum visitation. James Lileks