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"I was married 3 times" explained
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!"
Redmond,
WA --Microsoft announced today
that the official release date for the
new operating system "Windows
2000" will be delayed until the second
quarter of 1901.
A patient was at her doctor's office after
undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some
very grave
news for you. You only have six months to
live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor
replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?"
asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM
longer."
[Memory is] a man's real possession...In nothing else is he rich, in nothing else is he poor. Alexander Smith
[When asked what was the proper time for supper] If you are a rich man, whenever you please; and if you are a poor man, whenever you can. Diogenes the Cynic
A Childrens Museum, however, is more of a Funatorium. You are encouraged to touch things, which is poor training for subsequent museum visitation. James Lileks