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"I was married 3 times" explained
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!"
Redmond,
WA --Microsoft announced today
that the official release date for the
new operating system "Windows
2000" will be delayed until the second
quarter of 1901.
A patient was at her doctor's office after
undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some
very grave
news for you. You only have six months to
live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor
replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?"
asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM
longer."
Did you know that every two hours the nations of this world spend as much on armaments as they spend on the children of this world every year? Peter Ustinov
Get away from the crowd when you can. Keep yourself to yourself, if only for a few hours daily. Arthur Brisbane
I am reminded of the professor who, in his declining hours, was asked by his devoted pupils for his final counsel. He replied, 'Verify your quotations.' Sir Winston Churchill