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"I was married 3 times" explained
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!"
This customer comes into
the computer
store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with
lots of graphics.
You know, something really challenging."
"Well," replied the
clerk, "Have you tried Windows 98?"
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once
a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant
gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with
its
tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked.
"If I
told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"
Did you know that every two hours the nations of this world spend as much on armaments as they spend on the children of this world every year? Peter Ustinov
Get away from the crowd when you can. Keep yourself to yourself, if only for a few hours daily. Arthur Brisbane
I am reminded of the professor who, in his declining hours, was asked by his devoted pupils for his final counsel. He replied, 'Verify your quotations.' Sir Winston Churchill