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"I was married 3 times" explained
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!"
This customer comes into
the computer
store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with
lots of graphics.
You know, something really challenging."
"Well," replied the
clerk, "Have you tried Windows 98?"
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once
a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant
gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with
its
tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked.
"If I
told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. Joey Adams
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it. Pierre Gallois
The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. John Sladek